Showing posts with label Stress. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Stress. Show all posts

Latest Short Cool Funky Whatsapp Status Quotes: Best Collection Of Cool Funky Status Updates In English For Whatsapp, Facebook And Social Messengers

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@ If I could sum up my life in one line I would die of embarrassment
@ If my love for you is a crime, I want to be the most wanted criminal.
@ If you are gonna be two-faced, Honey at least make one of them pretty!
@ If you hurt my best friend, I will make your death look like an accident
@ The only F word out a woman’s mouth that scares me is “fine.”
@ The only place you find success before work is in the dictionary.
@ The question isn’t who is going to let me; It’s who is going to stop me.
@ The reason I’m fat coz a thin body could not handle my personality.
@ A Pizza is Just a Paratha That Went Abroad For Higher Education.
@ A sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night can create history
@ If guys had periods, they’d brag about the size of their tampons.
@ If you like me Then raise your hand, If not then raise your standard.
@ If you’re texting two people at the same time, you are biTextual.
@ Im a humble person, really. I’m actually much greater than I think I am.
@ Someone on his status “Sleeping” …since 3 Days! He’s Probably dead.
@ Someone on his status is sleeping for 5 days, He might be dead…
@ sometimes the road less travelled is less travelled for a reason.
@ Sorry about those texts I sent you last night, my phone was drunk.
@ The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
@ The hardest part of business is minding your own.
@ The only difference between a good day and a bad day is your attitude!
@ Absolutely awkward, proudest of nerd & geek, decreaser of world sucking
@ According to my police report, I had a great Night Out last night.
@ Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
@ An Apple keep a day keeps the doctor away, I’m going to buy iPhone 6.
@ If “Plan A” didn’t work. Don’t worry; the alphabet has 25 more letters
@ if a redhead works at a bakery, does that make him a ginger bread man?
@ If being outspoken is a crime, you’ll be sentenced lifetime imprisonment.
@ If College has taught us anything, it's texting without looking :)


Hopefully, this Latest Short Cool Funky Whatsapp Status Quotes may helpful to you and these statuses may flexible to your social messengers.
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Latest Funky Whatsapp Status Quotes: Best Collection Of Funky Status Updates In English For Whatsapp, Facebook And Social Messengers

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@ It’s funny how people judge other’s mistakes while they also do the same thing
@ They say we truly learn from our mistakes; so I’m making as many as it’s possible!!!
@ Think twice before you speak, you’d be able to say something more Insulting.
@ Today's Relationships: You can touch each other but not each others phones.
@ trying to think of clever things to say after inhaling from a helium balloon.
@ What if the princess wants to be with Bowser but Mario keeps kidnapping her
@ You don’t realize how many clothes you have, until you wash them.
@ Sometimes On The Way To The Dream – U Get Lost And Find A Better One   
@ Sometimes? Late at night? I rearrange traffic signs. People need to be challenged.
@ Sorry about those messages that I sent you last night, my Instagram was drunk.
@ Stop worrying about the world ending today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.
@ That awkward moment you get accepted to all the schools you applied for.
@ The biggest lie I tell myself is... "I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."
@ The early bird might get the worm, but the 2nd mouse will surely get the cheese.
@ The most powerful words other than I LOVE YOU is "Salary is Credited" :)
@ The only person on Instagram who doesn’t claim to be a social media guru
@ Just wanted to let you know that you are my BFBFF… Best Facebook Friend Forever..
@ Karma will punish you when it wants to, but I’ll return you the favour on spot.
@ Keep smiling because life is a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about
@ Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.
@ Laughing at your own texts before you send them because you are so damn funny.
@ light travels faster than sound…that’s why people appear bright until they speak.
@ Me and the gummy bears have a plot to rule the world but shhhhhits a secret.
@ Mosquitos are like family. Annoying but they carry your blood.
@ My bed is always extra comfortable when I need to get out of it in the morning.
@ Some people are so miser, all they look for is deals, discounts & vouchers.
@ Sometimes I just want to give it all up and become a handsome billionaire.
@ The only thing stopping me from being pure white trash is my lack of motivation.
@ The road to success is and will always be under construction unless you find a way out.
@ The two hardest things to say in life are hello for the first time and goodbye for the last.
@ There are three sides to an argument – your side, my side and the right side.
@ All you hipsters need to stop wearing Nirvana shirts if you don’t even listen to them.
@ Always wear cute pajamas to bed you'll never know who you will meet in your dreams.
@ As long as you’re still the same person I fell for, my feelings won’t ever change.
@ Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter… people the opposite.
@ Check out »» 10 Best Tools to Create Your Own Social Network like Facebook
@ Checking your symptoms on Google and accepting that fact that you're going to die.
@ Dear vegetarians, if you’re trying to save animals, then why are you eating their food?
@ Fake hair, fake nails & fake smile. Bitch, you’re just a wax work of Madame Tussauds.
@ Funny one -I stay up late every night and always realize it’s a bad idea every morning.
@ Generally, the path of least resistance appeals. Also, I am excellent at parallel parking.
@ Girls use photoshop to look beautiful.. Boys use photoshop to show their creativity.
@ Got out of jury duty by prefacing every answer with “according to the prophecy”
@ If you’re reading this, then I’m already too late. Humanity has reached its final days.
@ Sometimes it’s easier to pretend you don’t care, than to admit it’s killing you.
@ If you’re talking behind my back, you’re in a good position to kiss my ass!
@ Its amazing how crazy i feel when my phone vibrates and I’m begging it to be you.
@ Just thought a thought but the thought I thought wasn’t the thought I thought I thought.
@ likebuttonWhen someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it is for them?
@ Mama said life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you gonna get
@ Marriage is like a “workshop”, Where husband ‘works’ and wife always ‘shops’.

Hopefully, this Latest Funky Whatsapp Status Quotes may helpful to you and these statuses may flexible to your social messengers.


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Latest Funny Whatsapp Status Quotes: Best Collection Of Funny Status Updates In English For Whatsapp, Facebook And Social Messengers

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@ I am sorry for those people that disagree with me because I know that they are wrong.
@ Nothing in the world is more common than unsuccessful people with talent.
@ Ofcourse i talk to myself, Every once in a while you do need expert advice!!
@ Only 2 things can change women’s mood- 1) I love you, 2) 50% Discount!!
@ People say that love is in every corner……gosh! maybei’m moving in circles..
@ Politeness has been become so rare that some people mistake it for flirtation.
@ Roses are redish, Violets are blueish, if it weren’t for Christmas, we would all be Jewish!
@ She is so fake that she should have two Facebook accounts; one for each face!
@ WHEN I ACTUALLY DIE SOME PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GET REALLY HAUNTED.
@ When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
@ I am an actor and a writer and I co-created my breakfast and my son, Malachai.
@ I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.
@ If people are trying to bring you ‘Down’, It only means that you are ‘Above them’.
@ If people are trying to bring you down it only means that you are above them.
@ If you ever think I am ignoring you, I swear I am. My phone is in my hand 24×7   
@ If you want to make your dreams come true, The first thing you have to do is wake up.
@ A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
@ A book-store is only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.
@ A good friend might help you move, but a best friend will help you move a dead body.
@ A relationship in which a person is always right & the other is Husband – Marriage.
@ All men are born free and equal. If they go and get married, that’s their own fault.
@ DEAR WEATHER – don’t be too Romantic plzz. …Your’s sincerely. Coz Some 1 Single :p   
@ Do you ever just lie on knees and thank god that you know me and my intelligence???
@ Every mother on earth gave birth to child except my mother, She gave birth to Legend!
@ I married my wife for her looks. But not the ones she’s been giving me lately!
@ I never make the same mistake twice. Three, four times maybe. But never twice.
@ I shouldn’t be allowed to go on Snapchat, Facebook or Instagram when I’m drunk!
@ When I'm a Pedestrian I Hate cars.. When I'm Driving I Hate Pedestrians...
@ When life gets tough, always remember that you were the strongest sperm.
@ When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it’s for them?
@ When you can’t marry the one you love, :'( – you must marry the one who is rich !!
@ X is the girl next door…if you live next door to a whore house.
@ X just received a coupon in the mail: Buy one sock, get one FREE! While socks last.
@ You can’t fix stupid, no matter how much duct tape you use over their mouth!
@ Hey Math, try to solve problems on your own. I am sick and tired of doing it for you.
@ I always feel sad for seedless watermelons, because what if they wanted babies?
@ I swear Instagram the new Photoshop for some ugly bitches trying to look cute LOL.
@ I swear my pillow could be a hairstylist I always wake up with the wierdest hairdos.
@ I want to tell what I used to do before I was married – it’s anything I wanted to.
@ I’m not saying you’re stupid. But you have a little hard luck when it comes to thinking.
@ My diet plan: make all of my best friends cookies; the fatter they get, the thinner I look
@ My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it. lolz
@ My favorite kinds of people are the relatives who give money when they leave. 
@ I have Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook. I guess that makes me an instant twit face.
@ I have this new theory that human adolescence doesn’t end until your early thirties.
@ I Like to study.. Arithmetic - NO ... world history - NO ....chemistry - NO .... GIRLS - YES!!!
@ I love it when my computer says ” are you sure you want to continue unprotected “


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Latest Short Humorous Funny Whatsapp Status Quotes: Best Collection Of Humorous Funny Status Updates In English For Whatsapp, Facebook And Social Messengers

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@ I'm Jealous Of My Parents... I'll Never Have A Kid As Cool As Theirs!
@ It’s Weird that all pics shared from Instagram are always blurring.
@ I've had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide. :)
@ Just saw the most smartest person when i was in front of the mirror 
@ My girlfriend now thinks I’m a car, want to handle me everywhere
@ When you’re good, you’re good, when you’re awesome you’re me
@ Who needs television when there is so much drama on Facebook.
@ Whoever says "Good Morning" on Monday's deserves to get slapped :)
@ Why there isn’t a day between Saturday & Sunday? I really need it.
@ Coffee-Drinker, eReader Addict, Blogger. I’m very busy and awesome
@ Everyone on this earth is self-centered, the difference is the radius
@ Excuse me ....Plesae empty your pockets .... I think you stole my heart.
@ Flirtationship: More than a friendship and less than a relationship.
@ Hated by many, wanted by plenty, disliked by some, confronted by none
@ When you eat a banana, never ever make eye contact.
@ When you wait for a waiter in a restaurant, aren’t you a waiter?
@ I like to listen to sad music when I’m sad to make me double sad.
@ I live in a world of fantasy, so keep your reality away from me!
@ I love the days when APPLE & BLACKBERRY were just fruits.
@ I really need 5 hours of Facebook to balance out my 5 minutes of studying.
@ I saw a shampoo with the title: “Rich-looking” So I washed my purse ..
@ I say this; I say that, what the hell you want to listen from me?
@ I’m not glad it’s “Friday” I’m glad it’s “Today”. Love your life 7 days a week.
@ I’m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them
@ I’m really a giant cupcake. Afraid of roller coasters and dry ice
@ I’m starting to like Instagram, which is weird because I hate pictures.
@ i’ve yet to meet a woman who got pregnant from swallowing.
@ Having a best friend with the same mental disorder is a blessing. LOL
@ Having one child makes you a parent, having 2 makes you a referee.
@ How come, man’s creation is smarter than God – for example smart phone.
@ How is a poor man a lot like a rich man? They both have an iPhone.
@ I absolutely hate Instagram, and anything else having to do with hashtags.
@ I hope one day I love something the way women in commercials love yogurt
@ I know the world isn’t going 2 end in 2016 cuz my yogurt expires in 2017!
@ I learn from the mistakes of others……to whom I have given advice to.
@ My girlfriend thinks I’m cheating you, I hope you do not confirm
@ My husband thinks i am crazy, whereas he is the one that married me..
@ Perfect has 7 letters and so does meeeeee. Coincidence? I think not.
@ Posted pic on Instagram, and she didn’t like it
@ Pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick, and pull yourself together.
@ Some people have relationships and some people have vodka
@ Some people should just give up at engineering( or medical) ………i have.
@ Someone asked me How’s life? I just smiled and replied, She’s fine
@ The road which is less traveled is less traveled for a reason indeed.
@ There’s no such thing as darkness, just an absence of light


Hopefully, these Latest Short humorous funny Whatsapp Status Quotes may helpful to you and these statuses may flexible to your social messengers.
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Latest Short Hilarious Funny Whatsapp Status Quotes: Best Collection Of Hilarious Funny Status Updates In English For Whatsapp, Facebook And Social Messengers

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@ I am shy at first, but once I get comfortable… I do craziest of things.
@ I can always pretend I’m okay, but it doesn’t mean I don’t get hurt..
@ I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.
@ I don’t always look for my phone… But when I do, it’s on Silent mode.
@ I don’t know what makes you so truly dumb, But it really works.
@ I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I am joking.
@ I’m alwayz right… Once I thought I’m wrong… But I was wrong.
@ Keep smiling, while you have original teeth, false teeth really hurt.
@ Let’s be honest. If you were a vegetable, you would be cabBITCH.
@ SCIENCE FACT: If you close your both eyes, you won’t be able to see.
@ services that people spend enormous time on ,may i suggest IRCTC.
@ she’s so fake, if you look behind her neck. I bet it says “Made in china”.
@ slept like a baby last night…. Waking up every 3 hours crying for food.
@ Smile in front of people who hate you… Ur happiness kills them
@ Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up
@ Trying to understand you is always like trying to smell like of the color.
@ War doesn’t determine who’s right. War determines who’s left.
@ We have so much in common. You want to travel,I want you to go .
@ What if I told you, you can eat without posting it on Instagram
@ When everything comes your way.. Then you are on the wrong way.
@ X thinks that Facebook is the compost heap for my brain.
@ You call me lazy, truth is that i am on my energy saving mode.
@ You must know »» How to Backup Social Media Data to Windows PC
@ A bird just hit my window. I wonder if God is playing Angry Birds with me.
@ A black cat does the job of stopping people effectively than a RED signal.
@ A man of mystery and power, whose power is exceeded only by his mystery
@ I don’t always look for my phone… But when I do, it’s on Silent mode.
@ I don’t know what makes you so truly dumb, But it really works.
@ I don't have gray hair. I have "wisdom highlights". I'm just very wise.
@ I don't need anger management. I need people to stop irritating me!
@ I don't usually sleep enough, but when I do, it's still not enough ;)
@ I had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide
@ I use to be great at wordplay. Once a pun a time.
@ I used to like my neighbors, until they put a password on their Wi-Fi :)
@ I Wonder What Happen’s When Doctor’s Wife Eats An Apple A Day
@ Life on earth is expensive, but it includes a free trip around the sun.
@ Love is like a fart thing, If you have too force it, It’s probably a crap.
@ I used to like my neighbors, until they put a password on their Wi-Fi :)
@ I Wonder What Happen’s When Doctor’s Wife Eats An Apple A Day
@ I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
@ I’d like to thank Red Bull, Google, Vodka, and Wikipedia for my graduation
@ I’ll hide you in a way that even Google won’t be able to find you.
@ I’m a Basset Hound aficionado with a mouth like a Syphilitic sailor.
@ Maintaining a ‘Take it easy’ attitude can do wonders to your life.
@ Make milkshakes they said, the boys will come to your yard they said
@ Remember, When the going gets tough… The tough gets going!
@ remembers the day when blackberry and apple were just fruit.
@ Roses are red Sky is blue ..Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two !!!
@ Running away does not help you with your problems, unless you are fat.
@ I don't have gray hair. I have "wisdom highlights". I'm just very wise.
@ I don't need anger management. I need people to stop irritating me!
@ I don't usually sleep enough, but when I do, it's still not enough ;)
@ I had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide
@ I use to be great at wordplay. Once a pun a time.


Hopefully, these Latest Short hilarious funny Whatsapp Status Quotes may helpful to you and these statuses may flexible to your social messengers.
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Latest Short Funny Whatsapp Status Quotes: Best Collection Of Funny Status Updates In English For Whatsapp, Facebook And Social Messengers

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@ I talk to myself because i like dealing with a better class of people.
@ I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.
@ When inspiration does not come to me, I go halfway to meet it.
@ Winter as Hell – I ordered a pizza and the messenger comes with a Jet …
@ Women have magic wand…they can turn anything in an argument.
@ X thinks that 100-calorie packs have just enough cookies to piss me off!!
@ Anyone knows my Instagram username not making a new account again.
@ Bitch, the only test you have passed in your life is pregnancy test.
@ Boys are like purses, cute, full of crap, and can always be replaced
@ Girls, if he only wants your breasts, legs, and thighs. send him to KFC.
@ Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
@ Had a really great “Night Out” last night, According to my police report.
@ I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle!… He’s dreaming too.
@ I am always right, Once i thought that I am wrong, But i was wrong.
@ I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.
@ I have some 2-3 real friends, the rest are just people I socialize with.
@ Congratulations!!My tallest finger wants to give you a standing ovation.
@ Currently working towards an MBA with an emphasis in fantasy football
@ Dear Lord, there is a bug in your software...it's called #Monday, please fix it
@ Did anyone else notice the sound if you click the like button on my status?
@ Diet rule #1: If nobody sees you eating it, it doesn’t contain any calories.
@ Doing nothing is very hard thing to do…you never know when to finish
@ Don’t drink and drive. You might hit a bump and spill your drink.
@ I’m Jealous Of My Parents… I’ll Never Have A Kid As Cool As Theirs!
@ I’m not afraid of going to hell because all my friends will be there
@ My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
@ Never cry for that person who doesn’t know the value of your tears
@ Not every goodbye is painful like a ”goodbye class” from teacher!!
@ Not to get technical, but according to chemistry alcohol is a solution.
@ Nothing in the world is free, even Santa comes with a ‘Clause’.
@ Of course I talk to myself..as sometimes I need expert advice !!!
@ People try to bring you down if and only if you’re above them.
@ When I actually die some people are going to get really haunted.
@ When I am happy I smoke to rejoice, when I am sad I smoke to conceal.
@ Don’t get a man(woman) ,get a dog …they are loyal and they die sooner.
@ Don’t kiss behind the garden, Love is blind but the neighbors are not.
@ Don’t think for a second that I actually care what you have to say
@ Don't kiss behind the garden, Love is blind but the neighbors are not.
@ I stopped fighting my inner demons because now we are on the same side!
@ I stopped fighting with my inner demons. We are on the same side Now.
@ I tried to be normal once. Wasted and Worst two minutes of my life.
@ I’m going to update my status….but better you focus on your own.
@ I thinks my neighbor just caught me stealing his Wi-Fi internet.
@ When I feel a little down, I put on my favorite high heels and dance
@ When I was born, I was so surprised that I didn’t talk for two years!

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Humorous Funny Status Quotes In One Line: Best Collection Of Latest One Line Humorous Funny Status In English For Whatsapp, Facebook And Social Messengers

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@ I have to be funny because being hot is not an option.
@ I still don’t understand Twitter, but here I am.
@ I think it’s weird if a girl doesn’t have a whatsapp now days.
@ I tried to be normal. Worst two minutes of my life.
@ I used to be an atheist, But then i realized i’m God.
@ I wake up when I cant hold my pee in any longer.
@ It’s always too far too good and too near too bad.
@ It's been 70+ years, Tom. You're never going to eat Jerry :)
@ I've lost my mind and I'm pretty sure my spouse took it!
@ Remember it’s just a bad day, not a bad life.
@ SARCASM is Just one of the many services i have offer.
@ Smile today, cry tomorrow. Read this every day!
@ Smile today, tomorrow could be worse.
@ Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.
@ Some days start better than others
@ Some people are alive only, Because it’s illegal to kill them.
@ Statistically 5/4 of people have trouble with fractions.
@ The fool didn’t know it was impossible, so HE DID IT
@ You is kind, you is smart, you is important
@ You see that blue follow button? I’d tap that!
@ You should always do what’s right and not what’s easy.
@ You think your pretty but not mirror supports
@ Hey good lookin, can you tell me how to get to Sesame Street?
@ Hey there! Instagram is using my Internet Data Balance 
@ I always learn from mistake of others who take my advice :)
@ I was addicted to hokey pokey but I turned myself around
@ I Was Born Cool but Global Warming Made Me Hot.
@ If I die tomorrow, will you remember me
@ If I was funny, I would have a good Instagram caption
@ If people talk behind your back, then Just Fart!!
@ If school has taught us anything, it's texting without looking :)
@ Is anyone going to put anything funny on here?????
@ I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect!
@ I am who I am, Your approval is not needed.
@ The only thing I gained so far in 2014 is weight.
@ The only thing I gained so far in THIS YEAR is weight :)
@ The only tie success comes before work is in dictionary.
@ wanted to kill the sexiest person alive…But suicide’s a crime.
@ WARNING!! I know karate …..and some other words!!!
@ WARNING: Objects in mirror are fatter than they appear.
@ You can switch off a mobile phone but not a girl friend.
@ You cannot always make a person laugh, unles you’re a joker.
@ You cannot stop the waves but you can learn to surf.
@ I want some one to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.
@ I want someone to look at me the way I look at cupcakes!!
@ message, I can Like it. And it will say Nobody Likes This.
@ Good Samaritan, washed-up athlete, especially gifted napper.
@ GOOGLE must be a woman because it knows everything.
@ Hard work never killed anybody, But why take a chance?
@ I can see you checking my Instagram status. 
@ I can’t even give you a ugly look, you already have one.
@ I Can’t remember who I stole my bio from or why
@ I have a date, um how do I get skinny by tomorrow?
@ I have an uncommon sense that is common sense.
@ I have not lost my mind – it’s backed up on HD somewhere.


Hopefully, these Latest Humorous Funny Whatsapp Status Quotes may helpful to you and these statuses may flexible to your social messengers.
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Hilarious Funny Status Quotes In One Line: Best Collection Of Latest One Line Hilarious Funny Status In English For Whatsapp, Facebook And Social Messengers

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@ Totally available!! Please disturb me!!
@ God is really creative, i mean..Just look at me.
@ God must love stupid people- he made so many
@ Less people you chill with, less bullshit you deal with
@ Let Fools Chase The World.. I only want you 
@ Mine is not lazy, I just like saving energy
@ Monday, Tuesday… After that even the calendar says W.T.F.
@ My “last seen at” was just to check your “last seen at”
@ My hobbies are breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
@ My laziness is like 8; Once I lie down it’s infinite!
@ No I didnt trip The floor looked like it needed a hug.
@ No one falls in love by choice, it’s by chance.
@ Not always “Available”.. Try your Luck..
@ Nothing more than a man who cared enough to try
@ Of all the things I have lost , I miss my mind the most.
@ Some people call me Mike, you can call me tonight.
@ Some people need time to think of something stupid to say.
@ When it’s you against me, you either win or you die!!!
@ When nothing goes right..!! Go left.
@ Whenever i think of quit smoking, I need a cigarette to think.
@ Where the hell am I, and how did I get here?
@ While I was driving my Audi, the alarm woke me up.
@ 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
@ 80% of boys have girlfriends..Rest 20% are having brain.
@ A blind man walks into a bar… And a chair… and a table.
@ Sometimes you succeed…. and other times you learn.
@ Space available for advertisement
@ Spreading smiles like they’re herpes
@ The only time success comes before work is in dictionary.
@ The only way to resist temptation is to succumb to it
@ When i was born..Devilsaid..”Oh Shit..!! Competition”.
@ When I write Etc., it means End of Thinking Capacity 
@ Truth is, I’m crazy for you. And everyone can see that but you
@ Try to say the letter M without your lips touching.
@ Trying to elevate small talk to medium talk
@ Virginity is not dignity, It is just lack of opportunity.
@ Weekend, please don’t leave me.
@ What a beautiful combo of smart phones and stupid people!
@ what has two ears and cant hear? —————–.> GRANDPA
@ A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
@ A little birthday party they said, it’ll be fun they said
@ A selfie a day keeps the friends away.
@ Just be who you are… Not who the world wants you to be.
@ Someday, there’s going to be an updated version of me.
@ Sometime I talk myself, because I need experts advice.
@ Sometimes the only one, who can appreciate you, is you.
@ The richer you get, the more expensive happiness becomes.
@ There may be no excuse for laziness, but I’m still looking.
@ They say that alcohol kills slowly. So what? Who’s in a hurry?
@ After Monday and Tuesday, even calendar says W T F…
@ After Tuesday, even the calender mood says “W T F”.
@ All my life I thought air is free until I bought a bag of chips.
@ Are you a banker because I’d like you to leave me a loan?
@ flip the coin.. head i am yours, tail you are mine. 
@ Falling in love is not a choice. Staying in love is.
@ FREE PUPPIES: Half cocker spaniel, half sneaky neighbors dog.
@ Friends are forever, until they get in a relationship!! :P
@ Friends come and go, but enemies remain and build up.
@ Go to heaven for the quite climate and hell for the company.


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Funny Status Quotes In One Line: Best Collection Of Latest One Line Funny Status In English For Whatsapp, Facebook And Social Messengers

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@ Decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire.
@ Life is like photography, You use the negatives to develop.
@ Love may be blind but neighbors aren’t… Be careful.
@ Loving you is like breathing How can I stop?
@ Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.
@ My life is about as organized as the $5 DVD bin at Wal-Mart
@ My one more password got married yesterday.
@ My only real long term goal is to never end up on Maury.
@ My relationship status? Netflix, Oreos and sweatpants
@ My study period = 15 minutes. My break time = 3 hours.
@ Never let your friends feel lonely. Disturb them all the time.
@ Don’t browse my phone when I give it for viewing an image.
@ Don’t live the same year 75 times and call it a life !
@ Don’t mind the weather, it’s raining in my heart tonight.
@ I looked at my Instagram photos and realized I look beautiful.
@ I love my six pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat :)
@ I love sleep because it’s like a time machine to breakfast
@ Do You Want To Go Out With Me? (A) Yes (B) A (C) B.
@ Don’t blindly follow the masses. Sometimes the m is Silent.
@ I love to walk in fog, Because nobody knows i am smoking.
@ I m not special, I am just a LIMITED EDITION
@ I need total Six months of vacation, Twice a year.
@ I never fail… It’s my success that is postponed.
@ If you want to be rude then you should become a celebrity.
@ Impossible after splitting becomes I m possible
@ In an interview, “I can multitask housework with facebook!”
@ In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
@ Life is short, false, it’s the longes thing you do
@ Life’s not about money, it’s about love & I love MONEY!
@ Live the live you want to, not the one you’re supposed to
@ Love doesn’t show up on an X-ray….but it’s there.
@ Don’t play dumb with me. That’s a game you can’t win.
@ Don’t sleep until you’re hungry and eat until you’re asleep.
@ Don’t take life too seriously, you won’t get out of it alive.
@ Don’t judge a person without walking a mile in his shoes.
@ Dont invest emotions, Love is a depreciating asset
@ Everything funnier when youre supposed to be quiet..
@ I hope Karma slaps you in the face before i do.!!
@ I just had to come talk with you. Sweetness is my weakness.
@ I know i am something, Because god doesn’t create garbage.
@ I liked memes before they were on Instagram
@ I never make stupid mistakes, only very-very clever ones.
@ I only need 3 things in life: Food, Wifi, Sleep :)
@ If you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything.
@ If you don’t succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried.
@ Distance is suck… My room is so far away from kitchen :-/
@ I smile …Because I don’t know WHAT THE HELL is going on.
@ I speak my mind and I never mind what I speak.
@ I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.
@ Difference between cow dung and bull shit is still unclear …
@ If stupids could fly, your home would be an airport.
@ If there is no chocolate in heaven…”I AM NOT GOING”.
@ If you can’t stop the waves. Why not learn to surf!
@ In victory, you deserve Champagne. In defeat you need it.
@ Instagram is like twitter, but it is for people who can’t read!
@ Instagram Status is Loading……
@ Invite me to play Candy Crush one more time
@ Let me hurt your face, maybe I got a little relief by doing this.


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Funky Status Quotes In One Line: Best Collection Of Latest One Line Funky Status In English For Whatsapp, Facebook And Social Messengers

Here, the best collection of Funky Status in one line, New Funky Status in one line, Best Funky Status in one line, Latest Funky Status in one line, New Funky Quotes in one line, Latest Funky in one line, English Funky Status in one line, New English Funky Status in one line, Best Funky Status in one line in English, Latest Funky Status in one line in English, New Funky Quotes in one line, Latest Funky in one line, Best Funky Quotes in one line for Whatsapp, FB and social Messengers. These are the best collection of one line English funky status for whatsapp & Facebook forever.


@ I’m just having an allergic reaction to the universe
@ I’m not really in a bad mood, Everyone is just so annoying.
@ I’m not smart. I just wear glasses.
@ Real men stay dedicated to only one girl!
@ Sunday should be renamed as Sone De.
@ survived another “end of the world” scenario
@ The day i was born, DEVIL said: Ohh Competition!!
@ The fat on my body is designer
@ the first 5 days after the weekend are always the hardest. 
@ Warning…I know KARATE…….And few other oriental words.
@ We all start as strangers
@ We live in world of smart phones and stupid people 
@ You’re doing it wrong
@ You’re too rad to be sad.
@ Your beauty may fade over time but personality doesn’t.
@ Your existence is the living proof of God’s mistake.
@ Your presence gives me a headache, so go suck yourself!
@ We live in the new era of smart phones and stupid people.
@ Blocked some numbers… If you read this you’re lucky!
@ Buy an iPhone they said, it comes with a map, they said.
@ CGPA available for adoption… can’t raise it myself.
@ Chocolate doesn’t ask questions, chocolate understands
@ Cleaning is just putting the stuff in less obvious places.
@ Cousins are created so that our Parents can compare marks.
@ Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.
@ Fikar kar uski jo teri fiqr kre, u to zindgi mai bhut hai hamdard
@ I didn’t choose the thug life, the thug life chose me
@ I didn’t fail… It was my First Attempt In Learning.
@ I don’t discriminate. I hate everyone equally
@ I’m the strong silent typo.
@ I’m too busy right now, can i ignore you some other time?
@ Only Swag girls are fascinated by hashtags on the Facebook.
@ Open Books, Not Legs. Blow Minds, Not Guy
@ People call me mike .. You can call me tonight.. :p
@ People now-a-days look for WiFi rather than a Wife.
@ People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
@ we made it, it’s Friday!
@ While you’re looking for a Remote… You don’t trust anybody.
@ White lips, pale face, I hate the entire human race
@ Why look up at the stars when the biggest star is me
@ You’re a 10, on the pH scale, maybe. Cuz you’re basic
@ You’re beautiful until your Photoshop 30 day trial has gone.
@ You’re cute, can I have you?
@ I don’t have dirty mind, I have Sexy imagination.
@ I complained my life to a girl, She replied : Hmm.. ok
@ I don’t have Ex’s, I have Y’s. Like “Why Did I ever date you?”
@ I’m a force to be reckoned with, I reckon
@ I’m a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I’m perfect.
@ I’m a Texan with lots of opinions and pretty hair.
@ I’m pretty sure my prayers go directly to God’s spam folder.
@ I’m real and I hope some of my followers are too.
@ Behind every Sucess man, there is a surprised woman.
@ Bitch is just a term used for girl who refuses dog’s proposal.:P
@ Crossfit? I play real sports
@ Dear MATH, stop asking to find your X, she’s not coming back.
@ Everything is 10xfunnier when you are not supposed to laugh.
@ Fabulous ends in “us” coincidence? I think not
@ Failure is not an option — it comes bundled with Windows.
@ I don’t have a bad handwriting… That’s my Calligraphy!
@ I don’t have dirty mind, I have Sexy imagination.


Hopefully, these Latest Funky Whatsapp Status Quotes may helpful to you and these statuses may flexible to your social messengers.
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Best 3 stories to get relief from sad life, stress and pain

Are you searching for stories to get relief from sad life, stress and pain in our life? Here, you can get the most inspired story of life to get relief from sad life, stress and pain, story about positive thoughts and self-confidence and getting clam, happy, relax, peaceful, joys in our life. You can use these as a wall post of your Facebook or status update to get relief from sad life, stress and pain for your all friends and relatives. These are most popular stories in Facebook for motivate all your friends to get relief from sad life, stress and pain. Update your wall status with this and then you will know the importance of stories to facing problems in our life, problem solutions,get relief from sad life, stress and pain and relief from troubles through shares and likes on Facebook.


1#Stop being a glass, Become a lake

Story – Stop being a glass, Become a lake.
Once an unhappy young man came to an old master and told he had a very sad life and asked for a solution.
The old Master instructed the unhappy young man to put a handful of salt in a glass of water and then to drink it.
“How does it taste?” – The Master asked.
“Terrible.” – spat the apprentice.
The Master chuckled and then asked the young man to take another handful of salt and put it in the lake. The two walked in silence to the nearby lake and when the apprentice swirled his handful of salt into the lake.
The old man said, “Now drink from the lake.”
As the water dripped down the young man’s chin, the Master asked, “How does it taste?”
“Good!” – remarked the apprentice.
“Do you taste the salt?” – asked the Master.
“No.” – said the young man.
The Master sat beside this troubled young man, took his hands, and said, “The pain of life is pure salt; no more, no less. The amount of pain in life remains the same, exactly the same. But the amount we taste the ‘pain’ depends on the container we put it into. So when you are in pain, the only thing you can do is to enlarge your sense of things. Stop being a glass. Become a lake.”
Stop being a glass. Become a lake.”


2#you don’t have to put in any effort to calm it down



You don’t have to put in any effort to calm it down
Once Buddha was traveling with a few of his followers.
While they were passing a lake, Buddha told one of his disciples, “I am thirsty. Do get me some water from the lake.”
The disciple walked up to the lake.
At that moment, a bullock cart started crossing through the lake.
As a result, the water became very muddy and turbid.
The disciple thought, “How can I give this muddy water to Buddha to drink?”
So he came back and told Buddha, “The water in there is very muddy. I don’t think it is fit to drink.”
After about half an hour, again Buddha asked the same disciple to go back
to the lake.
The disciple went back, and found that the water was still muddy.
He returned and informed Buddha about the same.
After sometime, again Buddha asked the same disciple to go back.
This time, the disciple found the mud had settled down, and the water was clean and clear.
So he collected some water in a pot and brought it to Buddha.
Buddha looked at the water, and then he looked up at the disciple and said,
” See what you did to make the water clean. You let it be, and the mud settled down on its own, and you have clear water.”
Your mind is like that too! When it is disturbed, just let it be. Give it a little time. It will settle down on its own.
You don’t have to put in any effort to calm it down.
It will happen. It is effortless.”
Having ‘Peace of Mind’ is not a strenuous job, it is an effortless process so keep ur mind cool and have a great life ahead…



3# let us jump while we still have the strength 

Let us jump while we still have the strength 
Put a frog in a vessel of water and start heating the water… As the temperature of the water rises, the frog is able to adjust its body temperature accordingly… The frog keeps on adjusting with increase in temperature…
Just when the water is about to reach boiling point, the frog is not able to adjust anymore…
At that point the frog decides to jump out…
The frog tries to jump but is unable to do so, because it lost all its strength in adjusting with the water temperature…
Very soon the frog dies. What killed the frog?
Many of us would say the boiling water…
But the truth is what killed the frog was its own inability to decide when it had to jump out…
We all need to adjust with people and situations, but we need to be sure when we need to adjust and when we need to confront / face..
There are times when we need to face the situation and take the appropriate action…
If we allow people to exploit us physically, mentally, emotionally or financially, they will continue to do so… We have to decide when to jump…Let us jump while we still have the strength !! Think on It !!

Hopefully,Best 3 stories to get relief from sad life, stress and pain confidence for Facebook status update can useful to you and may satisfy your wall posts.


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